Friday, September 4, 2009

KC's Best Middle Aged White Guy Blog 2009

MAWGs- Middle Aged White Guys*.

And here we refer to white men -roughly between the ages of 40 and 60- who have had a family, likely one or more divorces and several jobs under their belt, men who are normally standing on or can see the last rung of their particular career ladder, men who know what they’re talking about. We are talking about men who have been around the block, this is not their first pony ride, Shirley - they’ve been to the carnival before! These are men who are apt to tell you that they are not that old; your music really does suck.

MAWGs are lawyers, doctors, directors, section chiefs, truck drivers, construction workers, IT geeks and pawns in the capitalist system. They are unemployed, work from home, get up before the sun or have retired early.

These are men who coach neighborhood soccer, baseball, or football teams, maybe all three. These are men who sit on their neighborhood housing association boards. Men who drink beer when they grill on the weekends. Men who root for the home team gawddamnit. Men who suddenly need to share all that accumulated knowledge with someone else ‘cause lord knows no one around here listens…

Also, according to the FBI, serial killers statistically make their first human kill as MAWGs. This may go some way in explaining the vitriol that blasts off MAWG blogs in a cyclical, almost lunar manner, followed closely by fond remembrances of earlier better days. In fact, MAWG blogs almost always follow a general template:

1.) Passionate/common sense rant/rave for/against latest political-socioeconomic policy/cultural trend/television show;
2.) Memories –complete with vintage photographs – of a simpler, better time, intimating that the current world has taken itself to Hell in its own hand basket and while that’s okay, we’re just saying…;
3.) Jokes/Videos/display of hobbies-interests that show the blogger to be of impeccably discerning taste;
4.) Congratulations/flames for other local bloggers about blogging in general;
5.) And, locally, food – apparently KC MAWGs cook a lot.

MAWG blogs usually tie the above framework into their occupation or a hobby horse: midtown miscreant’s theme is criminal stupidity; same idea with rumbling grumbling old fart, Gone Mild, JoCo SOB, and Kansas City with the Russian Accent**.

MAWG blogs, in one form or another, are all humorous. MAWG blogs tend to use a ton of widgets (with the notable exception of Gone Mild). Written English is normally not a MAWG bloggers’ forte (again, sans Gone Mild).

What then makes for a really good MAWG blog?

For The Editors it is passion. It is that slow burning fire in the belly that brings the MAWG back to their PC day after day after day to correct someone who is wrong on the Internet. It is the MAWG who immediately posts a rebuttal to some other MAWG who dared correct him. It is the MAWG blogger who answers most, if not all, comments within a 2 hour period, more likely within minutes. It is the utter willpower to prevail gawddamnit.

Hip Suburban White Guy fits the bill.

A multi-tooled blogger, X.O. is also an Honorable Mention for KC’s Best Blog of 2009. No MAWG and few blogs do it better (Cue the James Bond theme...). When we want our spleen vented, we go to X.O.’s place. Hand’s down, Hip Suburban White Guy is KC’s Best MAWG Blog of 2009.

Honorable Mentions go to Dumbwhore, JOCO SOB (for being so loudly, humerously and consistently "out there", if nothing else) and Midtown Miscreant.

NEXT: OG blogs

*The category name The Editors could reach a consensus on: also popular were Cranky Fuckers, Snarky Bastards, Disappointed Dudes, Archie Bunkers and Pricks. While each of the preceding had some merit, we ultimately agreed that Middle Aged White Guys encompassed all of the above and many others.

** Blogs like Ancillary Adams, Frighteningly Uncommon Sense***, RDM Random Remarks, Three O'Clock in the Morning and others are simply MAWG blogs in training.

*** Yes, The Editors are aware that Faith is a woman. However, she fits every other criteria and thus we see no valid reason to exclude her from the MAWG blog club when she hits the right age. What are you, sexist?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

KC's Best Mommy Blog 2009

"Family-and-homemaking blogs are weblogs which feature commentary and discussions especially about home, family, and parenting...mommy blogs."

Mommy blogs. We do not much care for the appellation either. It casts a certain disdain over what can be one of blogging's more evocative genres.

And when we talk about mommy blogs, we do not refer to Dooce, fine blog though it may be, because Heather is a talented special case*. Most mommy bloggers are not usually special cases, though many are talented.

No, when The Editors talk about mommy blogs we mean those local blogs that post about the day-to-day tribulations, joys, triumphs and seemingly endless failure mise-en-scènes that are the life blood of a mother. And when these familial vignettes are drawn with love and tenderness, colored though they may be by the natural self defense of humor and sarcasm, the resulting posts uniquely showcase the ineffable avocation that is motherhood.

KC is lucky to have a rather large carpool of authors to drive it from one mommy blog to another: Honorable Mentions here go to Greetings From Waldo, Pomegranate Pretty, and The Good Mother's Guide . All three are excellent reads, all three are completely different and all three will at some point move you to your core. What more could you ask?

Moxie Moma's blog does all of the above then adds that certain je ne sais quoi that sets it apart from the others. Part of it is the blogs' hustling nature: Moxie wants to be the best, b'god! Part of it is the intensity of her opinions coming right after an airy ditty on jello. And part of it is her earthy humor - her writing hints at an earthiness best left to her husband. So, at the end of the day, when the children have been read to sleep, the breast pump has been sterilized and the hubby lightly back-handed awake from his spot on the couch so he can get up and go to bed, The Editors find Moxie Moma to be the Best KC Mommy Blog of 2009.

NEXT: Middle-aged White Guy blogs.

* By which we mean "fuckable train wreck". Judge us (nor Heather) not , for this is what sells; a couple of The Editors have also lived and toiled in LaLa Land and know whereof we speak. It is the primary reason leading film & TV stars, as well as news anchors, are never ever ever ugly people. Please, don't tell us this surprises you - no one in their right mind believes Tom Cruise can act or Britney Spears can sing...